Waiting

I am okay.  I always am.  I’m the strong one.  The one who feels no pain.  The one who grieves every morning for the baby that isn’t there.  I am the one so exhausted from constantly holding together a hopeful heart.  The one who grows weary from the constant struggle that defines our lives.  I am the one who goes without attention and doting.  The one who hides tears in bathrooms.  I am infertile. Invisible, it feels like, even to God.  I am a hater of those who give less than their best to the children they have.  I am unable to rise above and feel joy for others who can do what I cannot.

Love, Love, Love…

I’m a blog junkie, in fact it’s part of my morning routine…instead of sitting down to the morning paper I have a Google Feed Reader plump with blog posts just waiting for me!  Reading all those blogs I come across a million “must have” items from bloggers, most of which cost so much that this midwest mama starts to hyperventilate.

Freedom & a 9/11 Birthday

9/11 is my birthday.  While I post a great deal of ditzy things on this blog, some about things that grow on milk left under carseats and getting kicked out of moms groups,  my patriotism is something I take very seriously.

There is great discussion this morning about remembering where you were, what you were doing on the morning of 9/11, aside from my run to buy gas as we watched the prices soar here is what I remember:

Planning & Gathering Information for an Independent Adoption

It’s day one.  You’ve decided to adopt and you’re ready to get moving.  First step?  Gather & plan.
If you’re planning to pursue and independent or private adoption here are some steps to get you started.

What is an Independent Adoption?

What is a private or independent adoption?

A private adoption, also called an independent adoption, or identified adoption, is an adoption in which adoptive parents utilize an attorney rather than an adoption agency to handle an adoption.

Teaching your toddler to fall asleep on his own…

My son is lousy at falling asleep.  Since the ripe old age of 6 months we’ve been jiggling and rocking this child to sleep.  In his crib he slept through the night, mostly, and always after 20 minutes of leg numbing jiggling and rocking.

The Discovery Window…inviting nature into toddlerhood

Thanks to my baby boy, whose whispers about “birdies” hatched my idea for the Discovery Window (pardon the pun).

While toddlers love the great outdoors not every day is suitable for outside play. So how can we can bring a little of the outdoors inside and a little wonder and education to our toddlers at the same time?

The Discovery Window is simple to put together and the possibilities for education and entertainment are as wide as your child’s interests.

Mortified Mama Monday….Moms Group exile

I was kicked out of my mom’s group this week. At first I was furious, completely outraged and embarrassed. After a few days, the initial sting wore off and I realized how little I actually cared about my banishment and the “connections” made during the mommy outings. Not only was I ousted but also invited to never return again but good luck finding another mommy group. So what did I do to offend the mommy mafia?

The Vomit Van

My minivan smells like moldy vomit. I’m fairly certain it has something to do with our teenage nanny who used the smelly bucket of bolts for two weeks while my husband and I produced Top Affiliate Challenge.

For weeks I saw sippy cups disappear from our hotel room. I figured they were lost by a frazzled nanny as she wheeled our son through the zoo, the park, and the grocery store in his fire red stroller.

After reclaiming our sanity, our son, and my mini-van, I hunted for sippies finding only two. Where have all the others gone?

I believe there is a vortex underneath the passenger seat of the van from where a gas, not oxygen, currently emanates.

I am not woman enough to reach my hand under the seat and pull out whatever horrors lie beneath. I’ll freely admit that I am a giant chicken, a wimp, yes…even a girl.

Maybe I’ll take it to the Wal-Mart Auto Center and say “no I don’t need my tires rotated, just check underneath the passenger seat.” Should the mechanic be so bold as to investigate and come away from the van shaking his hand in the air and shrieking to the heavens I will know that it is time to sell my gas guzzling beast.

Even if I were to summon up the courage to investigate more closely I’m not sure that any amount of carpet cleaner or lye soap could remove the offending life form. As many will recall I encountered a similar “mystery fungus” behind my couch months ago which began to shriek and moan when sprayed with Windex.

So if nothing else, I’ll give Techie some nookie, arm him with a bottle of lemon scented pine sol and send him on a quest to discover and kill the source of the offending odor.

I fully expect to get any number of comments about how this makes my readers want to vomit. I do apologize, in fact, this is not the blog post that I intended it to be when I sat down to write. Tonight’s blog post was supposed to be about my renewed intent to get knocked up by my husband and a team of talented medical professionals. Alas, this post will stand as proof that I should indeed reproduce on account of my fine mothering and housekeeping skills.

For those who were barfing it may further offend and disgust you to know I wrote the entire post while sitting on the toilet!

Toddler Funnies

I’m insanely busy helping Techie produce a web reality series but I thought I would share a few toddler funnies from this week because I miss my blog!

Yesterday, while on hold with the utilites company, I was going through the automated voice system and said “7″ outloud…from across the room Chibby turns around and shouts “3″! Guess which one the automated system accepted!

We grabbed a quick bite to eat after a playdate at the Target food court. As I loaded Chibby into the cart to pick up a few things he looked back at the table and shouted “Bye hotdog!”

No, I said, your hotdog is in your belly.

He lifted his shirt, rubbed his belly, and said “yum”.

I love having an almost 2 year old.