Homestudy Blizzard…homestudy home visit delay

DAMN THE SNOW!! Our final Homestudy visit was scheduled for today and it’s snowing so we rescheduled. It was a huge disappointment for me. I’ve been on an insane cleaning spree and for some reason this one week delay set me into a tailspin.  I know I won’t be a mom at Christmas this year but I still wish it.  I can’t bear the thought that I’ll have to wait one entire week to be one step closer to starting to adopt.  All I can do for now is throw myself into cleaning and decorating for the holidays…and today…shoveling snow!

But Techie and I sat on the floor and talked for an hour. He’s soooo excited to be a Daddy and he cheered me up. We ordered our first nursery furniture online tonight.

Some people couldn’t stand to look at an empty nursery for months or even years but i’m being optimisitc and I know the perfectionist in myself, it will be a brilliant work in progress for a long while.

All I can do for now is throw myself into cleaning and decorating for the holidays…and today…shoveling snow!

Telling your family about your plans to adopt

Our second homestudy visit was a piece of cake. I’m feeling much more positive this week and ready for our home. We did seperate interviews and I realized that being introspective is very helpful during this process.

Last week we had dinner with Techie’s parents. We don’t see them often and they weren’t caught up on our adoption. Thor mentioned something about a transracial adoption (which we’re both totally open to and comfortable with) and his Dad flipped. He can’t believe we want a “black” baby.

His mom, a lawyer, lost it when we said that we were going to have an open adoption. She started ranting about Grandparents relinquishing they’re rights and our birthmom coming back to take the baby at anytime.

I LAUGHED outloud. His parents usually don’t care about anything we do and I’m totally suprised to see such strong feelings about this. I hope once his Dad holds his grandchild he’ll be fine (no matter the ethncity). He has no positive experiences with people outside his own race and all we can do is try to broaden his horizons. Once we eliminate the rampant adoption myths here they will hopefully calm down.

They have to make it hard on us don’t they?

Adoptive Families Magazine has a great page on Adoption Myths at: www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=577.

First steps to open adoption: the homestudy

The homestudy. Because I’m no longer trying to get knocked up and I have nothing else to worry about I’ve been freaking out about our homestudy for weeks now. We started the homestudy process by filling out a dozen copies of papers that say nearly the same thing “no, i’m not a child molester; no, i’ve never killed anyone; yes, i will love my child” *now give me a baby!*

If you’ve never adopted a child let me tell you, far less paperwork to adopt! After what seems like forever, we finally met Allison at Adoption Links Worldwide. She asked us a million questions, none of which were hard to answer. I am both humbled and warmed by the glowing letters of recommendation from my friends.

As we take this next step toward adoption Ithink infertility is coming back to bite me in the ass. I’m anxious, this isn’t going to work…who would give me their child? If I can’t have babies maybe I don’t deserve them. Does my inability to stay pregnant mean I should stay childless? I know in my head that I’ll be a great mom but I still hear that ugly voice in my head….how do i get that to go away.