Toddler Boredom Buster

So occasionally Chibby comes to me butt stuck out, shoulders slumped, starring up at me like “mom i’m bored”.  So because I love to hear him laugh histarically, we play a little game I call go go blankie (it’s not poetry but he knows what it means).

• place a throw on the floor
• place toddler or baby in the middle of the blanket
• grab the blanket by the front two edges and pull
• zoom around the room, curving around furniture, whipping around corner
• shout out “yahooooo!”
• watch baby laugh histarically

 Once you do this they’ll want you to do it again and again but it’s good for you.  I’ve never tried this on carpet as I have wood floors…if it works on carpet post a comment and let us know.  Of course always be sure not to do this near open stairs and be careful etc.  At some point they almost always fall over from the Gs! 

Conversation with my neice

I love the conversations I have with my neice, for starters she’s like one of those 20 questions games, she’s always got the right answer, and she has the cutest little voice that always sounds like she’s asking a question, and she is just so damn cute it makes your cheeks hurt.  So yesterday when we arrived to pick up Chibby at Nana and Papa’s house and I made a point of hunting down my neice to get my dose of cuteness.  Here’s the conversation I had with my favorite 2 year old: 

Not oops…

I’m standing in the kitchen making sippies and I hear my son, who has stripped his clothes all off because he’s a nudist, toddling around the corner, his diaper making that little crunchy sound and his how-are-they-sticky little feet making that thwick thwick thwick sound.   

Mock-aritas

I’ve got a newly tested yummy mocktail recipe for you. These tasty virgin margaritas are just the thing if you love cocktails but don’t drink. 

Mix up a batch of these “mock-aritas” for a baby shower, ladies night, or even a superbowl party.   Prep is about 15 minutes.  Add a little sweet and sour to kick it up even further.  If you gotta have booze by all means add the tequila but try them without first!

Search me!? High heels and health.

So this morning I was checking my blog stats and down at the very bottom of the page I found this something that had me rolling!

I’ve had 42 visitors to my blog this month that searched for the phrase “the effects of wearing high heels on your uterus”.  Apparently using words like: high heels, fetus, effect, uterus, and boob are earning my wee blog a ranking of 51^st for searches about uterine health and heels. 

Bra-a-phobia

For the last two years I’ve been suffering from Victorias-secretaphobia. I have been buying cheap bras in hopes of avoiding the PTS caused by a panty shopping encounter at Victoria’s’ Secret. When I graduated from high school 9 years ago I weighed a whopping 103 lbs. At 5’8″ I was a very skinny girl…my ribs and hip bones were clearly visible, and though I had no boobs I shopped religiously at Victorias Secret. Through the years I added some weight, inching, quite literally up to a healthy weight, then just slightly heavier, all the while stilling buying all my bras and panties at VS. Finally, I hit the average size of women in America, a 14, for my body just a bit beyond a healthy weight.

Stay at home mom: is it real work or really easy?

I stumbled across an innocent little blog post this morning about a stay-at-home mom bumper sticker on a minivan.  It was a nice little post from a working hubby who was showing some respect for the work that stay-at-home moms (& dads too) do.  The post it self was short and sweet, but the commentary left by “anonymous” thereafter was inflammatory to this stay at home mom in particular.   

Chocolate chips & boogers…

Chocolate chips and boogers, phrases I never thought I’d say. 

A couple of pre-baby years ago, Techie and I were making a late night grocery run to Wal-Mart when my husband spotted an open bag of chocolate chips on the shelf.  Being the trouble maker that he is he grabbed a handful and began pelting me with them as I shopped.  “Stop” I said teasingly, “some little kid is gonna try to eat those off the floor.” More pelting ensued as he said “no kid is going to eat these off the floor”.

Toddler Travel

In February Techie, Chibby, and I are heading to Florida for a long weekend.  Techie will attend a conference while me and the little guy see the sights.  While I’m looking foward to a break from artic weather I’m definately not looking forward to our first flight with a toddler.   My worst fear is that I’ll be booted from the plane mid-runway because a hostile flight attendant thinks my kid is being too disruptive (which is why i’m not flying Continental). 

I spent all day searching the web for ways to keep toddlers happy during a flight and I’m 80% sure that there will still be some sort of feet kicking, back arching, screaming meltdown at some point.   Though most of the advice was fairly useless (and some even harmful i.e. drug your baby) I did find a few gems in the bunch. 

The OCD fetus and her crap

I have a porch full of CRAP. It’s been here a week and I already like it less than my in-laws.  It’s making me angry and giving me a blinding headache.  I can’t sleep and I can’t concentrate because no matter where I am in the house I can see the peaks of the mountains of CRAP on my porch.  It’s making me want to kill my husband and pull out all my hair. 

I know—I need a prescription.  Though I can’t remember exactly I’m pretty sure that I probably spent most of my time as a fetus tidying up the womb and since my birth I’ve only perfected my OCD.