Hey Hey Hey GOODBYE!

I actually managed to go an entire week without humiliating myself so no Mortified Mama Monday today.  The craziness of the week has probably saved me from utter embarrassment.  On the downside, the craziness of this week has given me a deep and dark craving for sugar, and hot baths, and a vacation in Tahiti.About a month ago Techie and I hired a nanny to care for Chibby in our home three days a week so that I could help with an upcoming project.  I interviewed several nannies, did background checks, and hired a young, atheltic, and well spoken nanny.  She came highly recommended and was working several other days a week for a pair of doctors taking care of their three children.  My one sweet baby should have been a breeze. Being a proud stay-at-home mom of 18 months it was exceedingly difficult for me to leave my precious baby with someone else, but I did it.  About a week after we started leaving him with the nanny I started noticing little “behaviors” popping up.  All of the sudden there are fits about things there weren’t before and everything felt disjointed.  I gave the nanny a schedule and showed her how we feed Chib and put him to sleep.  All the while a voice inside was telling me to fire her.Friday, I came home to find my sons in shambles.  For the first hour that I was home it was disaster.  I decided to give Chibby a snack thinking that I was up against a cranky-butt-low-blood-sugar-meltdown.  I was half right.  I sat him down with some popcorn and he ate like he hadn’t been fed all day. I checked the refrigerator where I’d left a lasagna for the nanny to heat up for Chibby’s lunch.  Missing from the lasagna was the tiniest square.  Apparently our health obsessed anorexic nanny decided that a 1″ inch serving of lasagna was enough for an extremely active toddler’s lunch. As he finished up his snack and I swear a half gallon of milk, he promptly passed out on the couch….at 4:30.  Moms: does that sound like a child who supposably had a 2 hour nap at 11:30?  No way.  Rule #1 of Toddler Care: Dont’ screw with the schedule.  Toddlers need naps, even if you have trouble getting them to sleep, they need naps like they need oxygen.  Donald Trump couldn’t say it any better.  SHE’S FIRED.Are there more qualified nannies out there?  Sure.  I’ll probably hire someone to come in one day a week so I can still be of some help to Techie and his project but any work that I do in the future will be at home, with my son.  I am stay-at-home mama through and through.  No one is more qualified to take care of my son than I am. For Techie & I if that means living on a tight budget and working our tails off during naps and after the baby goes to bed than that’s what we’ll do. I have nothing but respect for the many mama’s who work outside the home.  I have no idea how they do it.   As for Chibby, he pigged out two days in a row and this morning he clinged anxiously to me until the nanny failed to arrive, then his beautiful blue eyes lit up like they haven’t in weeks. Mine too. 

Mortified Mama Monday….uh Thursday

I’ve finally awakened from my Easter Candy induced coma and writing Monday’s blog post.  In addition to recovering from a very busy week I’m also working on a new more prettier blog theme.  If you find this page covered in weirdness it’s all part of the process.

Without further ado….

Mortified Mama Thursday:

After a long morning in the car we arrive home and I’m having a silly conversation with my son about the fact that he has naked feet (having removed both his socks and shoes in the car seat). 

Just as my husband pulls the side door of the van open I say to Chibby “are you nekkid?” he wiggles his toes at me and as I get out of the van I see my neighbor’s new roommate.  He’s looking at me like I’m some kind of weirdo.  He heard me say “Are you nekkid?” but didn’t see the hubby or baby.   I make a wonderful first impression. 

It was a close race this week I could have also chosen:

calling everyone at the Easter Dinner table “old” accidentally

or

my son almost whacking a business associate who was at our home for a meeting with a spatula I had given him to chew on. 

Conversations with a wise guy

When you’re a toddler there is no difference between smart baby and smart ass. 

A Bananas Easter Egg Nest

When Jen over at Absolutely Bananas challenged her readers to attempt a recent craft project I knew exactly what I would do!

You can find complete instructions on her blog but here’s the jist: you dip peices of yarn into elmers, wipe off the extra and drape the yarn over plastic wrap covered bowls (or cups depending on what shape result you want) allow to dry and peel off.  I used my Martha Stewart crafty power to make little nests for peeping chicks and treats which will adorn each place setting at our Easter table.

Inlaw perfection…

I’m afraid perfectionism has gotten the better of me so I won’t be posting pictures of Chibby’s new big boy camping/cabin/bear themed room yet.  I’m still waiting on a couple posters I won on ebay to arrive. I want everything to be just perfect so the cuteness will have to wait.  Until the UPS guy gets here I have plenty of distraction though. 

A car-ific Mortified Mama Monday!

Boy have I been waiting for this weeks Mortified Mama Monday.  I even said to Techie “well this is my Mortified Mama Monday” when it happened.   

Commercial Baby

I caught an episode of the Super Nanny recently in which the children in the episode were watching TV and playing age inappropriate video games all day long.  The children’s behavior didn’t even surprise me when I saw the parents saying “well we didn’t really think TV would have any effect on the them.”  Despite being nominated for a POTY award the couple learned that while it’s not realistic to throw out the TV these days, it is completely necessary to filter.  

Take safety personally

The world is full of weirdos.  Just today I was driving down the street and I saw a guy standing on the sidewalk wearing a motorcycle helmet no motorcycles around but there he stood motionless with a helmet on.  Just a few blocks up I saw another man in an oversized cowboy hat shouting at a mini-van…an empty minivan.  

Yipee it’s Mortified Mama Monday

Don’t you just love Mondays? Especially when it’s:

Saturday, I stopped at the gas station to fill up the van.  Chib was in the back being a grumpus because he didn’t want to be strapped into the car seat.  No one else ever has that problem right?  So I start the gas pumping and peer into the tinted window.  Chibby laughs because peeking is always very funny. 

Picked last and peed on

When you were a kid the worst thing that could happen to you at school was to be the last kid picked for the team.  Grace being my middle name and al,l I was always picked dead last.  In fact i was often the odd man out….given a “special job” by the PE teacher.  In other words you suck and we don’t want the other kids to suffer so sit here.  

While I endured some teasing, I coveted that position, never getting sweaty and always enjoying a great view of the hot guys playing sports.  I saved my energies for more delicate tasks like dancing and singing in choir and quite frankly have never need those valuable kickball skills as an adult.