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Archive for August, 2010

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Aug 22

Bee Stings & Birthfathers

While out playing in the pool today, my poor little kiddo was stung by a bee/wasp for the very first time in his life! Now I’ll preface this by saying that my kid has a freakishly high pain tolerance, so when he starts screaming in that make-every-mom-for-a-mile turn-her-head-to-look voice, I know something is wrong.  Daddy scooped him up and brought him inside still not sure why the terrified look and grasping at the sides of his head.  We set him up on the counter, through tears and whimpers he told us a big bug hurt his ear.   We looked behind his already red swelling ear and sure enough a perfect little hole where a stinger had been.

Aug 17

Waiting

I am okay.  I always am.  I’m the strong one.  The one who feels no pain.  The one who grieves every morning for the baby that isn’t there.  I am the one so exhausted from constantly holding together a hopeful heart.  The one who grows weary from the constant struggle that defines our lives.  I am the one who goes without attention and doting.  The one who hides tears in bathrooms.  I am infertile. Invisible, it feels like, even to God.  I am a hater of those who give less than their best to the children they have.  I am unable to rise above and feel joy for others who can do what I cannot.

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