Now, at 2 years old, I don’t find the jiggling that inconvenient and I do so enjoy some snuggle time, but my helping him to sleep is actually keeping him from falling back to sleep if he wakes up at night.

Over the last 2 years I’ve heard countless people say just let him cry it out, to which I say, you go cry yourself to sleep everynight.  That will make you LOVE bed time!

So today at nap time, I placed my son in his bed and left the room.  He wandered out several times, each time without a word or even eye contact I picked him up and placed him back in his bed.  After several repeats of this process I decided it would be easier to stay in his room.  So I laid him down again, told him it was time for “night night”, kissed his head and sat in the rocking chair, laptop in lap.

When he sat up or climbed out of bed, I simply pointed at his bed and he climbed back under the covers and laid down.  After just 10 minutes, (30 from the start), my kiddo fell asleep: on his own, no jiggling, no tears.

I promptly left the room and did my parenting touchdown dance…he sleeps, I rock!

While toddlers love the great outdoors not every day is suitable for outside play. So how can we can bring a little of the outdoors inside and a little wonder and education to our toddlers at the same time?

The Discovery Window is simple to put together and the possibilities for education and entertainment are as wide as your child’s interests.

The discovery window allows your little one get up close and personal with birds, bees, and other critters when your pre-schoolers’ noisy ways might otherwise scare them off.

To get started simply pick a window, one your child can look out with ease or without breaking your rules!

Bring on the wonder: hang a variety of bird feeders, wind spinners, or birdhouses outside the window. You can place a birdbath near a first floor window or plant flowers just outside of a garden level window. As the flowers push through the soil and the bees pay a visit you will find your discovery window as busy as your pre-schooler.

Adding items like a wind spinner, thermometer, and rain gauge help start basic science discussions and teach children about weather.

Let your child assist in filling the feeders. While getting the job done (and making a mess let’s be real!) your kiddo will be stretching their developmental muscles, pouring, estimating, and learning what animals eat. As your child gets older she can help maintain a small window side garden.

The Discovery Window is yours to fill, be creative, let your children create or pick out the feeders or make it mom’s favorite too by including your own garden style. Decorate the window at holidays or change up the feeders seasonally to keep both the birds and your child interested.

It doesn’t matter if you have an apartment with balcony or only a window box, a house with picture windows or no trees at all, you can create a discovery window of your own for your child.

What works for us & the critters?

Our windows are not garden level so hanging the feeders under the eaves of the house works well. It keeps the feeders and houses out of the rain and snow so they last longer. The little bit of shelter also gives the birds a reprieve from rain and bitter wind in the winter.

In my feeders:

I recommend that you use safflower seeds to attract cardinals, jays, and other song birds. Grackles, house sparrows, and pigeons won’t eat this and the squirrels won’t bother your feeders as the seeds are very bitter! Safflower is available in 5 lb. bags at Wal-Mart in spring and early summer otherwise visit a local bird store or tractor supply year round. Make sure to store all birdseeds in an airtight plastic or metal container to keep rodents from having a field day! Cardinals love safflower and will literally be singing your praises for putting it out.

Use thistle seed in a feeder with small openings (it’s not cheap) to attract a wide variety of finches. If you want to avoid squirrels and common birds avoid store bought “wild bird seed mixes”, these contain filler which often ends up as a mess on the ground, however they are inexpensive and will attract birds none the less. Keep your feeders full and the birds will keep coming back.

Start creating your Discovery Window today and you will find that it attracts toddlers, song birds, and frazzled mothers alike. Bringing the outdoors into our home even on the coldest days of winter or noisiest days of toddlerhood brings both calm and cheer. Good luck and let me know what wonderful items you add to your Discovery Window.

Why doesn’t anyone ever say that?  They should have a chapter in every baby book titled “parenting can suck too”.  When you bring that sweet new baby home you never think that you’ll be horribly embarrassed when he chucks his sippy cup clear across the restaurant at lunch, that you’ll have to wrestle him to get him into a diaper while he kicks and screams like you’re killing him, or that you’ll want to put him in a box and ship him to Grandma when he won’t go down for a nap.  

When you’re a stay at home mom you’re supposed to have it all together right:  a list of educational activities for the day, healthy home cooked meals, and kids who behave perfectly.  WRONG!  Being a stay at home mom is emotionally draining, and emotional drain and stress kill your energy and put your body and health in a funk.

It was on one of these sucky days last week that I picked up the book “Mom’s Need Time Outs Too”.  I spent the last week reading it (during that huge amount of free time I have) and frankly….i want my free time back.  That $12 book is now in the trash. 

Aside from being a dry read overall, I found the book to be a stale reworking on every other stupid how to be a better mom book out there.  Despite a long preface about how the three authors talked to real moms and came up with real solutions, I heard that old familiar tune…take time for yourself…oh yes, but exercise and cook healthy meals and do this and do that.

Seriously, I don’t need a book adding to my to do list.  Not that I’m a parenting pro, but here is some real world mom advice: it’s okay to let your kid eat a corn dog for dinner and run around in his pajama shirt and no pants all day while you veg out with Oprah and as PW says pick your toes. 

It’s okay to leave your kid with a dippy teenager girl (aren’t they all these days) for 3 hours every week so you can go out with the hubby.  Sure she’s not going to do your kids’ IQ any good but as long as he’s whole when you get home it’s all good!

There are days when it sucks to be a mom, there are days when it sucks twice as much because you’re a stay at home mom.  When you fight losing battles all day so you start a fight with your husband just so you can win something…it’s okay.   Once you’ve really pissed him off with an argument about what movies Bob Sagat was in, open up and clue him into what’s really going on.  Don’t hide behind a smile because it only breeds resentment. 

Call a girlfriend or email your sister and say my kid is driving me nuts today.   Your emotions get cabin fever too, let them out to run around.   Let go of the pereception that we all have to wear a brave face and be everyone’s everything. 

Let it all hang out and then start the next day new.  So what if junior went to bed with a fruit snack stuck to the bottom of his foot and mysterious pen marks on his leg….he’s fine and you will be too.  Being a mom is the job that never ends…if you need to, borrow a mantra from Dory “just keep swimming.”

Any ad featuring “TRUCKS!” has Chibby’s attention right away.  Around President’s Day, Chevy owned every commercial break with flashy pictures of trucks and a jazzed up version of “Hail to the the Chief”.   Chibby started doing a little shimmy dance move every time he heard the commercial.  Now whenever he is excited about a seeing a truck he does his little shimmy.   

After seeing a commercial for a reality dance series in which a kid was break dancing, Chib has added his own attempt at breaking to his dance repitroire.  I knew it was over when he saw the commerical and started jabbing his finger toward the screen and shouting dat dat dat!  Now in the middle of bustin’ a move (which he does often) Chibby will stop suddenly and lay on the floor sticking one foot in the air and using the other to turn himself in a circle.    

A 30 second PetCo spot featuring a wagging dog tail (not even a whole dog) was all it took to convince Chib that we need to buy a dog.  First he pointed at the screen saying “dog”, I responded “that’s right it’s a dog.” Just like that he jumps up, grabs my hand, and drags me to the door… “GO”   Lord help me, he’s so stinkin’ cute I almost did.

While I endured some teasing, I coveted that position, never getting sweaty and always enjoying a great view of the hot guys playing sports.  I saved my energies for more delicate tasks like dancing and singing in choir and quite frankly have never need those valuable kickball skills as an adult.  

My son, already a jock, has decided that Mommy should still be the last one picked.   Just tonight as we were getting ready to put him to bed he simulateniously gave me a giant kiss and pushed me away saying “no” and “bye”.  Ok I get it, love ya mom but Dad is on the bed time team and you are not.  I have to say being picked last is sometimes very nice.

Tomorrow is Mortified Mama Monday and I have good one for you.  Also keep your eyes peeled a new more better beautified blog theme is in the works! 

Now a little adventure in parenting a toddler:

As I head into the bathroom for a shower this morning, a shaggy blonde head becons me from the other side of the baby gate. I peek over to see outstretched arms and an excited little face.  “Mommy’s not taking a bath…Mommy’s taking a shower.” I explain.  Still cute excited face persists.  “You wanna take a shower too?”

Daddy is busy on the phone so I figure what the heck I’m not going to fight cleanliness.  Chibby strips off his clothes (apparently babies turn into nudists at 18 months) and climbs in the shower with me. 

I figure one good blast from the shower head and he’ll be out of there.  I turn on the water and he just laughs.  So I give him a little boat and a cup to play with and quickly shampoo my hair. 

I finish rinsing and as I look down I notice a yellow streak heading towards the drain.  Yep! He peed in my shower.  I did the only thing I could: move my feet far apart so the pee would miss them and laugh my butt off.

Though he slept the minimum hours recommended for babies his age he snoozed peacefully curled on my chest or stretched out between us in bed. Then he began to kick in his sleep… so we kicked him out!

Chibby slept soundly in his crib, sometimes waking once in the night for a bottle, but it was getting to sleep that was the problem. When he had colic we learned that jiggling him on our knee would soothe him to sleep. So each night we would jiggle and like an addiction the more we jiggled the more jiggling he needed to fall asleep.

After many nights of jiggling until my toes went numb, ever so carefully laying him in his bed, and sneaking out of his room on tip toes I hit a breaking point.

Friends told us they put their daughter to bed at 7:30 and let her cry it out, family told us the same. With everyone telling me to “suck it up and let him cry it out” I finally caved to peer pressure.

As bedtime neared I quieted things down gave him a bath, kisses and hugs and laid him in his bed. The first 20 minutes or so I did okay figuring he’d tire out quickly and pass out.

I would occasionally go in to let him know I was still there, wipe the mass of snot from his face, lay him down, and leaving again. After an hour I couldn’t ignore the voice inside saying this is not how we do things.

Defeated, I picked Chibby up and rocked him to sleep, all the while crying myself. Was I a failure because I couldn’t ignore my child’s cries? Everything about letting Chibby cry it out seemed wrong to me.

Now don’t peg me as a bleeding heart just yet. If you visited us at home you’d see that dear Chib does not get everything he wants and hears no more often than most. I do ignore the water works during fits and temper tantrums. But I just couldn’t let Chibby cry helplessly for bad sleep habits I had unknowingly given him.

I consulted my stack of parenting books and began to panic. The sides seemed clear: cry himself to sleep (we both agreed not an option for us) or let him sleep with us until he’s 8 (not gonna happen).

I headed to the book store in hopes of finding a middle ground, a way to help me help my son, a solution. Ask and you shall receive. I picked up a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution and read it cover to cover that night. The next night I read it again and made a plan. We would wean Chib off the jiggle, add in new ways to help him get all sleepy, and avoid the tears and screaming.

We instituted the plan but progress was slow. We struggled to find a bedtime schedule that worked and weaning him off the jiggle was harder than we thought, especially in the middle of the night. But we kept at it, tweaked the schedule and then it happened.

We had a sleepy-time meltdown. For a week every nap, every bedtime, every night waking became a war — complete with struggling and tears. He would sit up wide awake and not fall back asleep for hours.

Not knowing what else to do we stuck with the nighttime routine. Like a fever the crisis broke and the clouds parted and yes there was sleep. Now we’re not quite to the point that I can just put him in bed and *poof* sleep, but in another month I’m sure we’ll be there.

When we started the routine included:
A bath
A little bit of playtime
A story
A bottle
Bedtime at 10 so he would sleep through till 7
Jiggling until asleep (usually 30 minutes)

The schedule as it works now:
Bathtime
Massage while lotioning him up (if he’ll hold still)
Quiet play with lights off
Cuddle time with mom and dad
20 minutes of Barney or Baby Einstein (sometimes)
A bottle (almost to sippies only!)
9 PM Off to his room for a story
Few minutes of rocking
Place in crib with his lovey and favorite blanket
SLEEP!!!

If you’re having trouble with your little snoozer, pick up a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution. The techniques work and with patience and time you can correct bad sleep habits without tears. Reading this book gave me back my confidence and proved to me that my own instinct about what was right for my son was dead on.

The proof is in the pudding folks. Just tonight after a bit of cuddling with mum and dad our 18 month old slid of the couch, grabbed my husbands’ hand, kissed me good night and shouted “bye bye” (it’s a Chib thing) and headed off for bed. We didn’t drag him, he didn’t cry, and we didn’t have to condition ourselves to ignore his cries. After a story and a few minutes of rocking the sandman cometh.

If Chibby wakes at night he’ll grab Mr. Bear and drift off or in the worst case I’ll rub his back for a couple minutes before he drifts back to SLEEP.

• place a throw on the floor
• place toddler or baby in the middle of the blanket
• grab the blanket by the front two edges and pull
• zoom around the room, curving around furniture, whipping around corner
• shout out “yahooooo!”
• watch baby laugh histarically

 Once you do this they’ll want you to do it again and again but it’s good for you.  I’ve never tried this on carpet as I have wood floors…if it works on carpet post a comment and let us know.  Of course always be sure not to do this near open stairs and be careful etc.  At some point they almost always fall over from the Gs! 

“da?” (one da is me a double is dad)

“yes baby?”

“oops”

“oops?” i said without looking up.  “that’s a new one, you’ll be reciting the dictionary by the end of the week.”

“oops”

“oops…very good Chibby…oops goes with uh-oh”

“da da?”

“oops…”

I look up and clutched in that sweet chubby little hand of his is a poop freshly plucked from his diaper which was apparently full of “oops“.

“stay at home mom” is not a job, its a lifestyle choice and their is nothing wrong with it and i’m quite sure it can be difficult, but please stop comparing it to real work. Its insulting to people who commute three hours a day, work six days a week and are responsible for not only their own performance but everyone around them. I’v never seen a stay at home mom get fired because her grocery shopping went over budget by 8% in Q2…Stop overcompensating and making a task thats been going on for millions of years out to be more than it is. If your happy being a house husband and find it challenging, great.

If ever there were an occasion for a virtual kick in the groin, this commenter would be deserving.  Here’s what I have to say to Mr. Anonymously Misguided. 

#1.  Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice, staying at home to raise your children and manage the household is a career choice.  It is a real job. 

#2.  Yes, it is sometimes difficult.  You come do what I do all day and tell me the work I’m doing isn’t real.

#3. Why is acknowledging my work as ”real”  insulting?  By saying that what I do has value, that my choice to take care of my child all day is a career in no way takes away from what those who work outside the home are doing. My husband has a career and my career in no way detracts from the value of his career or the efforts he puts into it.

#4.  Three hours of commuting is real work?  Three hours of commuting is three hours of sitting on your ass without having to meet the needs of another, it is three hours of feeding only yourself, listening to the radio, and making phone calls.  It’s three hours of time for reflection.  Yes commuting can be stressful but when other drivers are jerks you flip them off and get over it.  No such luck at home. 

#5.  Ha ha! I work more than you.  You come home, probably drink, watch TV, and think up bone-headed comments to post on the web.  I however work 7 days a week 24 hours a day.  That’s not a cop out it’s the damn truth.

#6.  I am actually responsible for my own performance as well as the performance of my child.  They way children behave, how well they do in school, the type of people they become are a direct reflection of their parenting.  Talk about job pressure.  Further, I’ve managed employees before and evaluated their performance.  Any HR person worth their salt will tell you every good evaluation begins with an employee self-evaluation.  No one is harder you than you. 

#7. Stay at home mom’s can’t get fired for blowing their budget by 8% in the second quarter.  We can’t blow our budget by 1% and if Mr. Anonymous can’t make his budget maybe he should seek the counsel of some savvy stay at home mamas on how to manage a budget.  Never question the capabilities of a woman who can squeeze a sizable contribution to her kids’ college fund and a Disney World vacation out of a 35K a year budget.

#8.   If one of your clients wakes you up in the middle of the night and wants to lay his head in your cleavage you can sue. 

#9.  If you get irritated with your boss, a client, or a coworker you can get mad and talk about him in the break room.  Stay at home moms don’t have the luxury.  We can say my kid is driving me nuts today…enter guilt.  The emotional stress alone of this job beats that of an accountant any day. 

#10.  Just because people have been raising children since the dawn of time doesn’t make it any less valid as a career choice.  I CHOOSE to stay home with my child.  There is NO job more important than that of a parent, especially one who stays at home to raise their child.

#11. Of course fellow-commentator-stay-at-home-dad finds his job challenging.  That means he’s doing it right. 

#12.  Just because staying at home involves working in the home doesn’t mean that it is easy.  Anyone who stays at home is just as intelligent, creative, or competent as someone who works outside the home.  I am a college graduate.  I spent most of my college career as an education major learning about the development of children, about education, and literature.  I graduated with HONORS and I find staying at home to be challenging. 

#13. I may not be a pencil pusher but I, a stay at home mom, am a professional.  I put great effort into developing my professional skills, including continuing education in my field. 

#14.  When you take your kid to daycare, the lady who watches your child all day has a ____?  If you hire a housekeeper the work she does is a ____?  When you go out to dinner the guy in the kitchen has a ____?  If you hire a nanny she has a ___?  A JOB!  Would it be easier to understand if I paid myself for my work and then paid myself for my services and gave a chunk of change to Uncle Sam?  Would that make what I do everyday a job?

#15.  What does it take to qualify staying at home as real work? Do I need to put on something dry clean only and wear lipstick all day for this to be a job?  Because I can do that. I can do that because the work I do everyday is real, it is a career and it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing jeans or suit skirt it is still difficult and it still demands some respect. 

Ladies I bet this gem of a man is still available, but don’t get your hopes up,  I don’t think you’ll find much under the hood.   So for dear anonymous here’s a few more bumper stickers that will piss you off: