A couple of pre-baby years ago, Techie and I were making a late night grocery run to Wal-Mart when my husband spotted an open bag of chocolate chips on the shelf.  Being the trouble maker that he is he grabbed a handful and began pelting me with them as I shopped.  “Stop” I said teasingly, “some little kid is gonna try to eat those off the floor.” More pelting ensued as he said “no kid is going to eat these off the floor”.

We rounded the corner and by the time we hit the end of the next isle he was out of ammo and our shopping was done.  As we headed to the checkout we heard a booming redneck voice behind us shout “DON’T EAT THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS OFF THE FLOOR!” We turned to see a very large man wearing only overalls and a litter of similarly clad kids gathering up the offending chocolate chips like greedy treasure hunters. 

We laughed the entire way home and every time we hit Wal-Mart for the next month.  At the time I thought shouting out such a phrase was ridiculous but now I think:  that could be me.  Of course, I wouldn’t wear only overalls to Wal-Mart unless I was trying to get my groceries for free that day. 

So, with chocolate chips in mind, here are a few of those can’t-believe-I-said- that phrases that I’ve used just this week:

• Mommies’ boobies are not playthings (since when!?!)

• stop trying to lick my foot

• he doesn’t want to eat your boogers

• OMG did he just spit that ice cream back into my bowl?

• Stick your finger in there and see if it’s poop

• Your weenie goes inside your diaper

• No kicking Grandma

Let me know what it is that I will be shouting in Wal-Mart this year, post a comment and share your recent favorites.