The homestudy. Because I’m no longer trying to get knocked up and I have nothing else to worry about I’ve been freaking out about our homestudy for weeks now. We started the homestudy process by filling out a dozen copies of papers that say nearly the same thing “no, i’m not a child molester; no, i’ve never killed anyone; yes, i will love my child” *now give me a baby!*

If you’ve never adopted a child let me tell you, far less paperwork to adopt! After what seems like forever, we finally met Allison at Adoption Links Worldwide. She asked us a million questions, none of which were hard to answer. I am both humbled and warmed by the glowing letters of recommendation from my friends.

As we take this next step toward adoption Ithink infertility is coming back to bite me in the ass. I’m anxious, this isn’t going to work…who would give me their child? If I can’t have babies maybe I don’t deserve them. Does my inability to stay pregnant mean I should stay childless? I know in my head that I’ll be a great mom but I still hear that ugly voice in my head….how do i get that to go away.