I’m still reeling from the birth of my niece. I find myself worrying about what the birth of my children will be like. Hoping there will be excitement fearing there will only be sadness. I hope I get to see them come out…i know it’s not likely but I can’t imagine not watching my children take their first breath.

Our IAC counselor emailed us today…she’s just now forwarding our file, the letter for which I arrived a week ago. She’s been out sick, moved, had deaths in the family, sick kids etc etc etc…shit happens but I honestly feel like enough shit has happened to us.

I’ve been very very sick, had deaths and births…yet I’m stilling making good time. All this stalling on the side of an agency to whom I’m paying $9,000. I just want them to hurry so we can find the mother of our children. It’s frustrating. They owe us big and when it’s crunch time I expect them to go above and beyond.