I’m afraid perfectionism has gotten the better of me so I won’t be posting pictures of Chibby’s new big boy camping/cabin/bear themed room yet.  I’m still waiting on a couple posters I won on ebay to arrive. I want everything to be just perfect so the cuteness will have to wait.  Until the UPS guy gets here I have plenty of distraction though. 

My mother in law is coming this weekend for Easter Dinner.  As I sat down to write this post in my recently dusted living room which is strewn with various toy cars, plastic grocery items, and cheez-it crumbs, I realized that I’m going to have to dust again. 

It’s not just a light cleaning that will get me through a visit with friends, a play date, or even a visit from my mom ( light cleaning if she’s only stopping by, heavy duty if she’s staying for more than an hour) this weekend will require a full out top to bottom wipe down every knick nack, hunt down the dust bunnies, and scrub the toilet twice kind of cleaning.   

No my mother in law is not a neat housekeeper, in fact she is the opposite, but she does manage to be both apathetic and mean all at once.  Immediately upon entering my house she plasters on her fake smile all the while making sure that I know she doesn’t need or want a daughter in law as she already has the perfect daughter.

If I clean the house I will hear endless commentary about how “Martha Stewart” the house always looks.  Were the Queen of Clean to even set foot in my house I’m sure she’d break into hives.  Of course, let’s not forget muddled conversations about how nice it is that I have all this time to devote myself to cleaning (a moderation on the “gold-digger” theme). 

But I don’t dare not clean because then both she and my father in law will suddenly devlop x-ray-infared-dust-bunny-seeking vision and my “inability to keep up” will be the talk of the family.

Despite a power cleaning that could put a nesting prego to shame and the meticulous preparation of our clothes, the place settings, and the dinner I am actually looking forward to this visit from the inlaws. 

Mostly because I know my sister will bring wine but also because I can always count on my mother in law to say something completely stupid that I can use at an upcoming dinner party for entertainment.  A few years ago at a BBQ my husband mentioned that he’d been drinking low carb beer and my MIL, the lawyer, said “low carb…oh but I like the bubbles!”

I’m pretty sure Techie married me because of the spot on impression I do of his Wisconsin born mother; complete with her out-of-it mid sentance soap opera stare.  I’ve jump started many a dying social event with this particular skill and he still laughs because he knows that sadly it’s all true.  I love Techie to death which is why I mock his family so.  They are hilariously absurd, because it’s far better to laugh until you cry then cry until you laugh….better yet is to blog about it!

Wish me luck my dears, I’m off to starting having nightmares about Easter dinner disasters and my MIL mocking me with the Charlie Brown teacher voice.

One Response to “Inlaw perfection…”
  1. Sally Shields Says:

    Loved your article! Very funny!!! However, I have some tips for you that might give you a chuckle or two! See, I’ve just authored a book entitled, The Daughter-in-Law Rules: 101 Surefire Ways to Manage (and Make Friends with) Your Mother-in-Law!

    BTW, my MIL is coming tonight. I share your pain. LOL!
    Sally Shields
    “The MIL Manager!”
    TheDILRules.com

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