I apologize deeply for my lack of bloggyness of late folks but I am a walking petri dish. I came down tonsilaryngitis flumonia at Disney World and have since called in the CDC (just kidding but they did make me wear one of those SARS masks at the doctors office).

My official diagnosis is a flavorful combination of strep and laryngitis on a bed of flu, with touch of pneumonia and a delicate garnish of bacterial pink eye.

Despite my constant hand washing and antibacterial wipe using at Disney World, where it apparently is also the year of a million germs, I still got sick…very sick.

I have had snot in so many colors this week that Skittles is the new sponsor of my blog (just kidding again, don’t tell them i said that they’ll have me de-indexed).

Since I’ve had nothing else on my mind this week I thought I’d test a few “home remedies” for my various ailments.

Plague-tested mother approved home remedies:

Ailment: Sore tonsils

Mama’s Remedy: Gargle warm water with salt and bit of lime juice.

Approved: Stings like a b**** for a minute but if you have a good imagination you can pretend you’re doing tequila shots.

Ailment: Laryngitis

Mama’s Remedy: Suck on a peeled clove of garlic

Not Approved: Nothing says “Here I am! Love me!” on Valentine’s Day like garlic on top of bad breath from strep.

Instead Try: Resting the voice and wrapping a warm scarf of even a warm damp towel around throat.

Ailment: Flu

Mama’s Remedy: Hot Tottie” (and don’t google “hot tottie” with kids in the room)

Approved: Mixing booze and cold meds is always a great idea!

Ailment: Pink Eye

Mama’s Remedy: tsp. Apple Cider Vinegar (dropped into they eye)

NOT APPROVED: Are these people nuts? It’s an eye infection not a Weight Watcher’s recipe.

Instead Try: Go to the doc for this one and get some antiboitics for the eyes and then wash every toy and bit of bedding in the house…twice…no three times.