Just keep swimming…

Some days motherhood sucks. 

Why doesn’t anyone ever say that?  They should have a chapter in every baby book titled “parenting can suck too”.  When you bring that sweet new baby home you never think that you’ll be horribly embarrassed when he chucks his sippy cup clear across the restaurant at lunch, that you’ll have to wrestle him to get him into a diaper while he kicks and screams like you’re killing him, or that you’ll want to put him in a box and ship him to Grandma when he won’t go down for a nap.  

My Paris

For the last week my son has been wandering around the house sounding like Paris Hilton. 

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s frisbees

I have a low tolerance for stupid questions and nosy people.  I have no idea how I made it through dozens of college classes and neighborhood association meetings all brimming with nosy hand raising dumb question askers.

 As you can see this intolerance is not flattering on me.  It turns me into a mean sarcastic woman.  But mocking those who annoy me brings me great joy.  

The Party Planning Princess

It’s been said that I am the queen of party planning.  I’m not quite ready to take the crown but I will admit that over the years I’ve thrown some pretty awesome parties.  From that first kegger at Techie’s house (back when he was my new boyfriend), to our luau themed wedding, to my sister’s Christmas themed baby shower, I’ve managed to do big with little money.

After a much too long hiatus from party planning I’m back in the saddle with not one, not two, but three big parties in upcoming months!  Coming very soon to this blog: how to plan a Company Picnic, an unbelievable Spring Themed Surprise Birthday Party, and a Red Carpet Reception.  Of course, as I plan each party you can be sure to see many updates on my creative process as well as photos and maybe even video of the big events. 

Below are photos and party planning tips from the party that rocketed me to fame: Our Luau Themed Wedding (not held in Hawaii)

Our entire budget for the wedding including food was $3000. 

If you’re planning a wedding use the same facility for both the ceremony and the reception to save some dough.

To mask very ugly and carpeted walls we unrolled match stick blinds purchased for $3 each at a Big Lots, removed their hardware and tacked them to the walls.  It instantly gave the room the feeling of being inside Tiki hut. 

To mask a coat rack along the entrance wall we used a green grass table skirt, trimmed down and positioned to look like the edge of a roof.  Gift table and receiving line happened below.

Grass skirts gave an island feel and hid feet and ugly tables at our head table.

I made my own bouquet and cake toppers from artificial flowers.  The artificial flowers were not cheap but withstood July heat and looked beautiful. 

Fabric (purchased on clearance at Wal-Mart) hung across the windows helped set the mood, blocked late evening summer sun, and helped hide unattractive shades.

The best part of having a themed wedding is that it instantly relaxes your guests.   Our guests were asked to wear Hawaiian shirts and flip flops.   The Mr. & Mrs. High Heel wedding was one of kind and our families had a blast.  It was extremely DIY and I will be sure to post more about how I orchestrated, while wearing high heels of course, what people are still calling “the best wedding ever!”  

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have parties to plan and a crown to polish! 

Corn-and-boob-tastrophy

While blow drying my hair the other day, I hear a weird noise coming from the living room area where I’d left Chibby sitting on the couch watching Nemo.  I turn off the dryer and head out into the living room.

Mortified Mama Monday

This week’s Mortified Mama Monday is brought to you by my very embarrasing husband.   After all what are husbands good for other than opening jars, duct taping things that are broken, and mowing lawns?

Here Come the Not So Newlyweds

I have loved the ABC reality series “Here Come The Newlyweds.” The entire premise of the show is to test newlywed couples to see how well they know each other, how well they communicate and work as a team.
Even though the show is designed for newlyweds it’s been fun for us to watch and play along. Tonight as Techie and I watched the season finally we decided that even as newlyweds we would have kicked some serious butt!

Pregnancy is for girls…or is it boys?

What’s a girl gotta do to get knocked up?  Oh that’s right…become a man! 

S.O.S.

So Techie is out of town and I’m under duress.  For normal people a night and two full days away from their spouse is no biggie, and for some even a welcome break.  But I’m not normal.  I HATE when Techie is gone especially overnight.   I’m a nervous ninny by nature and my dear husband’s very presence calms me.  Further after a couple of long days without any other adult contact I’m in desperate need of decompressing with my best friend.   I started out with the intention of posting pictures of Chibby’s new room but the kid isn’t havin’ it today.  My big Daddy’s boy is irritated that Daddy isn’t here and running a bit low on sleep from a very early am trip the airport.  He also knows Mom is tired and stressed and is taking full advantage…maybe next time mom will go on the trip. — oh yeah!  That reminds me!I’m thrilled to say that I will be attending BlogHer ‘08 in San Francisco in July!  This is my first BlogHer conference and I’m very excited to be able to go and take my husband and son along.  BlogHer has on-site childcare for Chibby for a couple of days and Daddy will be attending some sessions with me.  I’ll also be running around recording audio for BlogHer.  I’m so glad that I can lend a hand.  Will you be at BlogHer?  Leave me a comment and we’ll have a Starbucks together in July!–back to the chaos…S.O.S

Hey Hey Hey GOODBYE!

I actually managed to go an entire week without humiliating myself so no Mortified Mama Monday today.  The craziness of the week has probably saved me from utter embarrassment.  On the downside, the craziness of this week has given me a deep and dark craving for sugar, and hot baths, and a vacation in Tahiti.About a month ago Techie and I hired a nanny to care for Chibby in our home three days a week so that I could help with an upcoming project.  I interviewed several nannies, did background checks, and hired a young, atheltic, and well spoken nanny.  She came highly recommended and was working several other days a week for a pair of doctors taking care of their three children.  My one sweet baby should have been a breeze. Being a proud stay-at-home mom of 18 months it was exceedingly difficult for me to leave my precious baby with someone else, but I did it.  About a week after we started leaving him with the nanny I started noticing little “behaviors” popping up.  All of the sudden there are fits about things there weren’t before and everything felt disjointed.  I gave the nanny a schedule and showed her how we feed Chib and put him to sleep.  All the while a voice inside was telling me to fire her.Friday, I came home to find my sons in shambles.  For the first hour that I was home it was disaster.  I decided to give Chibby a snack thinking that I was up against a cranky-butt-low-blood-sugar-meltdown.  I was half right.  I sat him down with some popcorn and he ate like he hadn’t been fed all day. I checked the refrigerator where I’d left a lasagna for the nanny to heat up for Chibby’s lunch.  Missing from the lasagna was the tiniest square.  Apparently our health obsessed anorexic nanny decided that a 1″ inch serving of lasagna was enough for an extremely active toddler’s lunch. As he finished up his snack and I swear a half gallon of milk, he promptly passed out on the couch….at 4:30.  Moms: does that sound like a child who supposably had a 2 hour nap at 11:30?  No way.  Rule #1 of Toddler Care: Dont’ screw with the schedule.  Toddlers need naps, even if you have trouble getting them to sleep, they need naps like they need oxygen.  Donald Trump couldn’t say it any better.  SHE’S FIRED.Are there more qualified nannies out there?  Sure.  I’ll probably hire someone to come in one day a week so I can still be of some help to Techie and his project but any work that I do in the future will be at home, with my son.  I am stay-at-home mama through and through.  No one is more qualified to take care of my son than I am. For Techie & I if that means living on a tight budget and working our tails off during naps and after the baby goes to bed than that’s what we’ll do. I have nothing but respect for the many mama’s who work outside the home.  I have no idea how they do it.   As for Chibby, he pigged out two days in a row and this morning he clinged anxiously to me until the nanny failed to arrive, then his beautiful blue eyes lit up like they haven’t in weeks. Mine too.