It’s day one.  You’ve decided to adopt and you’re ready to get moving.  First step?  Gather & plan.
If you’re planning to pursue and independent or private adoption here are some steps to get you started.

• Legal Logistics: What are your states laws regarding adoption and relinquishment?

The laws regarding the adoption process and what organizations can process them differ by state.  In most states lawyers, agencies, and religious organizations such as Lutheran Family Services alike can handle adoption paperwork and relinquishment.

• You will need a lawyer to complete necessary paperwork.

Find an experienced and well recommended adoption attorney.  Word of mouth is the best way to find a lawyer with outstanding ethics.  Look for someone detail oriented who communicates well with you.  I, for example, am a big e-mailer and the attorney we used for our son’s adoption responds quickly to my emails.  Your attorney is one area in which you don’t want to shop on price.

• What agencies/organizations can provide you a home study and what will it cost?

All states require you to complete an adoption home study.  Requirements for home studies vary by state but most include several interviews with you and your spouse/partner as well as a visit to your home.  Home studies also include fingerprinting, various background checks, a letter from your physician as to your health, a short biography from each of you, and often letters of recommendation.

Call several state approved agencies and organizations in your area to find out the steps involved and cost of each particular office.

• How will you advertise and where?

How do you plan to locate potential birth parents.  Word of mouth and networking are your most powerful tools.  Most couples also choose to create a website featuring photos and a letter to potential parents about themselves.

Research websites and determine a rough idea for cost of design (buying pre-made templates can save you money) and monthly hosting.

Running ads in local newspapers and shoppers is also a good idea when choosing an independent adoption.  First verify with your attorney that your state allows advertising for potential birth parents.  No state allows you to offer compensation for a child, as it is illegal so be careful with your wording should you choose to provide assistance to birth parents for allowable expenses.

Once you have a general idea of cost of advertising and networking re-evaluate?  Is this affordable to you?  From here you can make a more in depth plan for running ads in local papers.  Always negotiate a better rate when you are running an ad for long periods of time or with multiple papers owned by a parent company.

• Who will handle birth parent relinquishment for your independent adoption?

That great lawyer you found should help you decide who will handle relinquishment.  They will be able to advise you (at no cost if you get a good one) as to your state’s laws about who can handle birth parent relinquishment.

• One last step before delving into that big pile of home study paperwork:

Plan your baby’s health insurance, check with your insurance company to find out how you can add your new bundle of joy and get an estimate of your new premium.

Got the gear?  Some people choose to abstain from buying baby items in preparation until they are matched with a potential birth mother or are bringing baby home.  Either way you should have funds set aside or have the necessities ready to go as even in an independent adoption you could have very little notice.  I had only 6 days between our call and our son’s delivery.

Phone number:  You will likely want a toll free phone number for potential birth mothers to call.  These are relatively inexpensive and available from your local phone company or through other phone services.  The number my husband and I used was provided by a local land-line provider but forward to my cell as we had no land line.  We were charged by the minute when a birth mom called.

Take your time planning and gathering information about logistics.  The process of adopting independently goes more smoothly when you have the details ironed out.  Carefully planning will save you from costly mistakes and heartache in the future.

Of course, not everything can be planned; when it comes to building a relationship with potential birth parents go slowly and be flexible.  Good luck!  Now go get “paperwork pregnant.”

**Thank you to my regular readers for enduring my recent outbreak of adoption related articles.  Adoptive parents are in need of good quality information about the process and I want to share my experience with those currently in the process.**