I stumbled across an innocent little blog post this morning about a stay-at-home mom bumper sticker on a minivan.  It was a nice little post from a working hubby who was showing some respect for the work that stay-at-home moms (& dads too) do.  The post it self was short and sweet, but the commentary left by “anonymous” thereafter was inflammatory to this stay at home mom in particular.   

“stay at home mom” is not a job, its a lifestyle choice and their is nothing wrong with it and i’m quite sure it can be difficult, but please stop comparing it to real work. Its insulting to people who commute three hours a day, work six days a week and are responsible for not only their own performance but everyone around them. I’v never seen a stay at home mom get fired because her grocery shopping went over budget by 8% in Q2…Stop overcompensating and making a task thats been going on for millions of years out to be more than it is. If your happy being a house husband and find it challenging, great.

If ever there were an occasion for a virtual kick in the groin, this commenter would be deserving.  Here’s what I have to say to Mr. Anonymously Misguided. 

#1.  Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice, staying at home to raise your children and manage the household is a career choice.  It is a real job. 

#2.  Yes, it is sometimes difficult.  You come do what I do all day and tell me the work I’m doing isn’t real.

#3. Why is acknowledging my work as ”real”  insulting?  By saying that what I do has value, that my choice to take care of my child all day is a career in no way takes away from what those who work outside the home are doing. My husband has a career and my career in no way detracts from the value of his career or the efforts he puts into it.

#4.  Three hours of commuting is real work?  Three hours of commuting is three hours of sitting on your ass without having to meet the needs of another, it is three hours of feeding only yourself, listening to the radio, and making phone calls.  It’s three hours of time for reflection.  Yes commuting can be stressful but when other drivers are jerks you flip them off and get over it.  No such luck at home. 

#5.  Ha ha! I work more than you.  You come home, probably drink, watch TV, and think up bone-headed comments to post on the web.  I however work 7 days a week 24 hours a day.  That’s not a cop out it’s the damn truth.

#6.  I am actually responsible for my own performance as well as the performance of my child.  They way children behave, how well they do in school, the type of people they become are a direct reflection of their parenting.  Talk about job pressure.  Further, I’ve managed employees before and evaluated their performance.  Any HR person worth their salt will tell you every good evaluation begins with an employee self-evaluation.  No one is harder you than you. 

#7. Stay at home mom’s can’t get fired for blowing their budget by 8% in the second quarter.  We can’t blow our budget by 1% and if Mr. Anonymous can’t make his budget maybe he should seek the counsel of some savvy stay at home mamas on how to manage a budget.  Never question the capabilities of a woman who can squeeze a sizable contribution to her kids’ college fund and a Disney World vacation out of a 35K a year budget.

#8.   If one of your clients wakes you up in the middle of the night and wants to lay his head in your cleavage you can sue. 

#9.  If you get irritated with your boss, a client, or a coworker you can get mad and talk about him in the break room.  Stay at home moms don’t have the luxury.  We can say my kid is driving me nuts today…enter guilt.  The emotional stress alone of this job beats that of an accountant any day. 

#10.  Just because people have been raising children since the dawn of time doesn’t make it any less valid as a career choice.  I CHOOSE to stay home with my child.  There is NO job more important than that of a parent, especially one who stays at home to raise their child.

#11. Of course fellow-commentator-stay-at-home-dad finds his job challenging.  That means he’s doing it right. 

#12.  Just because staying at home involves working in the home doesn’t mean that it is easy.  Anyone who stays at home is just as intelligent, creative, or competent as someone who works outside the home.  I am a college graduate.  I spent most of my college career as an education major learning about the development of children, about education, and literature.  I graduated with HONORS and I find staying at home to be challenging. 

#13. I may not be a pencil pusher but I, a stay at home mom, am a professional.  I put great effort into developing my professional skills, including continuing education in my field. 

#14.  When you take your kid to daycare, the lady who watches your child all day has a ____?  If you hire a housekeeper the work she does is a ____?  When you go out to dinner the guy in the kitchen has a ____?  If you hire a nanny she has a ___?  A JOB!  Would it be easier to understand if I paid myself for my work and then paid myself for my services and gave a chunk of change to Uncle Sam?  Would that make what I do everyday a job?

#15.  What does it take to qualify staying at home as real work? Do I need to put on something dry clean only and wear lipstick all day for this to be a job?  Because I can do that. I can do that because the work I do everyday is real, it is a career and it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing jeans or suit skirt it is still difficult and it still demands some respect. 

Ladies I bet this gem of a man is still available, but don’t get your hopes up,  I don’t think you’ll find much under the hood.   So for dear anonymous here’s a few more bumper stickers that will piss you off: