A Baby Shower…a waiting moms perspective

Baby showers, dreaded by every infertile woman in the world. For you fertile folks, it’s like being stabbed with needles all day long…painful. To the outside world I was all smiles, a happy hostess for my sister’s shower, but on the inside I was ready to do a swan dive off the back deck. The shower was beautiful (I have a gift for party planning…shh don’t tell!) and everyone, including my sister had a great time. I’m glad she was happy with it and I am excited to meet my little neice soon.

I saw my sisters nursery today and it was awful, not the nursery, but the feeling that shot through me. I could hardly swallow the tears. I’m not mad just jealous.

My parents pitched in and they all made this beautiful nursery. I feel alone and oh so heartbroken. You see I’m a great prentder and it’s hard for my family to understand when everyone thinks I’m “fine”. Infertility is a battle everyday, sometimes easily won, others are like today. I am mourning the loss of a pregnancy, a shower and all the fun that comes with expecting a baby. Today wasn’t about me, I was all smiles, but I was dying inside.