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The Sandman cometh…getting our toddler to sleep

Posted in Parenting. on Saturday, March 1st, 2008 by admin Tags: bedtime routines, cry it out, getting baby to sleep, toddler sleep
Mar 01

In the beginning we slept well. Our Chibby was a superstar sleeping through the night even before 6 months.

Though he slept the minimum hours recommended for babies his age he snoozed peacefully curled on my chest or stretched out between us in bed. Then he began to kick in his sleep… so we kicked him out!

Chibby slept soundly in his crib, sometimes waking once in the night for a bottle, but it was getting to sleep that was the problem. When he had colic we learned that jiggling him on our knee would soothe him to sleep. So each night we would jiggle and like an addiction the more we jiggled the more jiggling he needed to fall asleep.

After many nights of jiggling until my toes went numb, ever so carefully laying him in his bed, and sneaking out of his room on tip toes I hit a breaking point.

Friends told us they put their daughter to bed at 7:30 and let her cry it out, family told us the same. With everyone telling me to “suck it up and let him cry it out” I finally caved to peer pressure.

As bedtime neared I quieted things down gave him a bath, kisses and hugs and laid him in his bed. The first 20 minutes or so I did okay figuring he’d tire out quickly and pass out.

I would occasionally go in to let him know I was still there, wipe the mass of snot from his face, lay him down, and leaving again. After an hour I couldn’t ignore the voice inside saying this is not how we do things.

Defeated, I picked Chibby up and rocked him to sleep, all the while crying myself. Was I a failure because I couldn’t ignore my child’s cries? Everything about letting Chibby cry it out seemed wrong to me.

Now don’t peg me as a bleeding heart just yet. If you visited us at home you’d see that dear Chib does not get everything he wants and hears no more often than most. I do ignore the water works during fits and temper tantrums. But I just couldn’t let Chibby cry helplessly for bad sleep habits I had unknowingly given him.

I consulted my stack of parenting books and began to panic. The sides seemed clear: cry himself to sleep (we both agreed not an option for us) or let him sleep with us until he’s 8 (not gonna happen).

I headed to the book store in hopes of finding a middle ground, a way to help me help my son, a solution. Ask and you shall receive. I picked up a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution and read it cover to cover that night. The next night I read it again and made a plan. We would wean Chib off the jiggle, add in new ways to help him get all sleepy, and avoid the tears and screaming.

We instituted the plan but progress was slow. We struggled to find a bedtime schedule that worked and weaning him off the jiggle was harder than we thought, especially in the middle of the night. But we kept at it, tweaked the schedule and then it happened.

We had a sleepy-time meltdown. For a week every nap, every bedtime, every night waking became a war — complete with struggling and tears. He would sit up wide awake and not fall back asleep for hours.

Not knowing what else to do we stuck with the nighttime routine. Like a fever the crisis broke and the clouds parted and yes there was sleep. Now we’re not quite to the point that I can just put him in bed and *poof* sleep, but in another month I’m sure we’ll be there.

When we started the routine included:
A bath
A little bit of playtime
A story
A bottle
Bedtime at 10 so he would sleep through till 7
Jiggling until asleep (usually 30 minutes)

The schedule as it works now:
Bathtime
Massage while lotioning him up (if he’ll hold still)
Quiet play with lights off
Cuddle time with mom and dad
20 minutes of Barney or Baby Einstein (sometimes)
A bottle (almost to sippies only!)
9 PM Off to his room for a story
Few minutes of rocking
Place in crib with his lovey and favorite blanket
SLEEP!!!

If you’re having trouble with your little snoozer, pick up a copy of The No Cry Sleep Solution. The techniques work and with patience and time you can correct bad sleep habits without tears. Reading this book gave me back my confidence and proved to me that my own instinct about what was right for my son was dead on.

The proof is in the pudding folks. Just tonight after a bit of cuddling with mum and dad our 18 month old slid of the couch, grabbed my husbands’ hand, kissed me good night and shouted “bye bye” (it’s a Chib thing) and headed off for bed. We didn’t drag him, he didn’t cry, and we didn’t have to condition ourselves to ignore his cries. After a story and a few minutes of rocking the sandman cometh.

If Chibby wakes at night he’ll grab Mr. Bear and drift off or in the worst case I’ll rub his back for a couple minutes before he drifts back to SLEEP.

2 Comments

  1. Pink Lemonade Liz on March 3rd, 2008

    WOW… I’m just a little jealous…

    My little Lauren didn’t start putting herself to sleep until she was, like, four or so. (Collette has be a fantastic sleeper since birth – but no two are alike)

    Now that Lauren’s 6, going to bed is no problem…. it’s keeping her asleep all night… she still shares the bed with us one night a week or so (she says it’s “bad dreams” that keep her from going back to sleep)

    Glad to hear all’s going well.

  2. High Heels & Dustbunnies on March 9th, 2008

    Thanks for your comment. I could just kick myself for bragging when he was a baby about how he slept through the night at 4 months.
    Occasionally it’s nice to get that extra cuddle time in when they crawl in bed with you!



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