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Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s frisbees

I have a low tolerance for stupid questions and nosy people.  I have no idea how I made it through dozens of college classes and neighborhood association meetings all brimming with nosy hand raising dumb question askers.

 As you can see this intolerance is not flattering on me.  It turns me into a mean sarcastic woman.  But mocking those who annoy me brings me great joy.  

Tonight I was at Target picking up some items for the company picnic swag bags.  I purchased 9 Frisbees, which is only fitting since our company picnic is at the local state park.

 As I placed my items on the belt the woman in front of me began fondling my Frisbees.

Ooooh…where did you find these I need some of these for my doggies she said as she groped my stuff.  She peered over the rest of my items and began a barrage of questioning that was both nosy and stupid.

What are you going to use all these Frisbees for?  Duh. Frisbee.

Annoyed, I answered, I’m going to use them as serving platters for a beach party (I live no wear near a beach).  

Ooooh….that’s a brilliant idea.  She cooed, still fondling my Frisbees.

Really annoyed, I began thinking of all the answers that I should  have given her that would have shut her up instantly.  

Here’s the short and highly inappropriate list: 

  • Summertime display for my sex toy collection
  • As lens caps for giant binoculars 
  • Hub caps for my Benz
  • Frisbees for our weekly game of strip Frisbee golf…I really suck at Frisbee golf
  • Practice Frisbees for my famous ferret act, where 9 ferrets spin Frisbees on their noses while juggling ping pong balls
  • I’m a stripper and I use them in my show…I toss them out with my…
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    Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s frisbees    

    Comments

    Comment from Arya Wiese
    Time: April 12, 2008, 11:03 pm

    I hate when people start to grope and ask questions about the stuff on the belt - of course they always do it when the kids are at their absolute worst…lol I love your stripper remark though - it really would have shut her up for sure! (Did she ask where you got them? I got that one the other day and couldn’t stop myself from saying “HERE, do you really think I would go out and get them from another store to buy here?)

    Comment from Erin
    Time: April 14, 2008, 9:08 pm

    nothing like a good frisbee fondling to get you in the mood for stripping, that’s what I always say . . .

    Comment from socialmommies
    Time: April 15, 2008, 10:54 am

    LMAO I love the lens cap one. that would have made her stop and think giving you the chance to grab your frisbees and run like the wind!

    Pingback from High Heels & Dustbunnies » Company Picnic or Bust!
    Time: April 23, 2008, 4:58 pm

    […] three t-shirts and 1 embroidered cap featuring the same design, sunscreen, water, Gatorade, the famed Frisbees, beef jerky, gum, bubbles (for the kiddos), and Burts Bees Lip Balm (the best lip balm on […]

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