Being the good wife that I am I attended an affiliate marketing conference with Techie this last weekend in Vegas.

I reluctantly left our son with Grandma, reluctantly rented a Mustang convertible, reluctantly booked a hotel room with a hot tub, and reluctantly helped my husband pitch his new project to hundreds of other techies for two days.

Since my return from Vegas I’ve been suffering from an acute case of writers block. Not that there wasn’t plenty in Vegas to write about just that I am completely lacking the ability to put more than two words together at a time.

I blame the hours of networking with nerdy guys who think they’re cool because they make a lot- or just some – money online. I don’t care if you drive a Hummer or not, by the age of 38 you ought to be able to figure out that your pants are 2 inches too short or that you’re shirt is too tight and too short thus giving us all a nice sliver of belly hair to feast our eyes on.

Most of the guys were very nice, over cologned, uber successful, and quite taken with my boobs. My girls have never had such deep conversations about converting traffic, payment thresholds, and dropping cookies.

After a bit I learned that drawing attention to my rack by spinning my lanyard so that men would strike up a conversation only to be transitioned off to Techie for the sales pitch was quite effective. If you’re going to stare you’re going to get played. That’s the game boys!

After all their hard work Techie and I took my girls out for crazy good food at “Kahunahville” at Treasure Island, where we stayed. The gals and I got some fresh air as we cruised the strip in our mustang convertible and took in all the sites. My favs were the Bellagio and New York New York.

I pushed up the gals and put on way too much eye makeup for an exclusive bash at the Venetian’s swanky bar Toa. We and 2700 of our closest affiliate friends took in a private performance by the Blue Man Group and enjoyed great food and an open bar.

At Toa my gals were introduced to 2 gals twice their size which belonged to a bartender who mixed my drinks 90 to 10…10 being the diet….90 being the rum.

Needless to say I got very drunk, entertained quite a few people on the way back to our room, and spent the flight home the next morning hung-over. Being married to an internet marketer certainly has its perks!